I-Team: Breaking the silence on child sexual abuse

PALM DESERT, Calif. (KESQ) - A local conference in Palm Desert is providing a space for male survivors of child sexual abuse to heal as recent news regarding the Jeffrey Epstein files triggers painful memories for many in the community. The "It Happens to Boys" conference, held at Saint Margaret's Episcopal Church, brings together hundreds of people from across the Coachella Valley to discuss trauma and recovery.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Carol Teitelbaum founded the conference 17 years ago to break the silence surrounding male victims of abuse. The event addresses a widespread issue; data from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention shows that one in 13 boys and one in four girls in the U.S. experience child sexual abuse. CDC statistics further indicate that in approximately 90% of cases, the abuser is someone the child knows and trusts.

Teitelbaum, a licensed marriage and family therapist, explained that men often face unique societal pressures that prevent them from seeking help or expressing emotion regarding their trauma. "Men have been given a bad wrap for a long time saying "You should just get over it. You're a man, buck up. Be a man, don't cry, don't act like a sissy,"" Teitelbaum said. She noted that even law enforcement sometimes dismisses male survivors, leading them to suppress their experiences. "They don't get over it. They push it down and push it down until they rage and that affects all of us," she said.

Sonny Von Cleveland, a sexual abuse survivor who spoke at the event, shared how his childhood trauma influenced his adult life. Cleveland said his own mother trafficked him to multiple men from the time he was age 3 until he was 12. "It really shaped my life down a very dark path for a very long time," Cleveland said. That path included involvement with drugs and crime, leading to prison sentences at ages 16 and 21.

In total, Cleveland spent 18 years behind bars, though he said it was during his time in prison that his healing process finally began. He has since written a memoir about his journey and works to help other survivors find a way forward. "A lot of boys are abused, a lot of women are abused and not all of them learn to cope. Most of them don't learn to cope. And so they end up walking very dark paths they don't have to walk," Cleveland said.

The conference also addressed the rising prevalence of online exploitation. Research from the University of New Hampshire indicates that one in six children in the United States experience some form of online sexual abuse before they reach age 18. Cleveland highlighted the scale of the problem, noting that more than 350 million pieces of child sexual abuse material are generated annually. "We barely are scratching the surface of this fight, and the numbers are just astronomical," Cleveland said. "Behind every one of those numbers is a child that is being abused."

Organizers emphasized that recent high-profile news stories, such as the release of the Epstein files, can serve as a significant trigger for survivors. Teitelbaum said that hearing specific names or details about abuse cases can bring back painful memories for victims, even if they had no connection to that specific perpetrator. "Every time they hear about it, they talk about it, they bring up his name, even though they weren't abused by him, they're triggered again, which means all of their old stuff comes up," Teitelbaum said.

Organizers said the conference aims to help survivors transform their pain into a sense of purpose. Cleveland offered a final message of encouragement for those currently struggling. "You'll make it. You can get through it. Be strong. You only lose when you quit," Cleveland said.