How to cope with post-Election Day stress

By Sandee LaMotte, CNN

(CNN) — As the country wakes up to Donald Trump as the projected winner of the presidential election, there is one thing we can all agree on — it has been a long, hard-fought path to the White House.

Americans are weary, possibly emotionally bruised and battered, and likely concerned about what the next few weeks will bring to a nation bitterly divided.

Just as in 2020, now is a good time to pause and analyze your physical and emotional stress.

“How we view our stress actually matters to our health,” said Dr. Cynthia Ackrill, a stress management expert and former editor for Contentment magazine, produced by the American Institute of Stress.

“When the brain senses any source of danger, even if it’s just a worry of what could be, it will rev up your stress levels to keep you safe,” Ackrill said in an email.

“Thank your brain for doing its job, but assure it you have it from here,” she added. “This can help you notice automatic reactions, stop automatic thought loops, and help you sort fact from fiction.”

Take a time-out or a breather and get some self-care for yourself and your friends and neighbors. Here are key science-backed ways to cut yourself a break.

Breathe, move and have a plan

You can use your body to help calm your mind, experts say. Deep, slow belly breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system to counteract stress signs such as an elevated heart rate and a burst of adrenaline.

“You don’t even have to stop what you’re doing. Just take a few slow deep breaths and really feel the sensations of your body,” said Cortland Dahl, author of “A Meditator’s Guide to Buddhism” and chief contemplative officer for Healthy Minds Innovations, a nonprofit organization that provides free wellness services. “A few mindful breaths can reset your nervous system and bring some much needed calm into the mind.”

Taking a stroll can accomplish the same — walking in nature with an uplifting friend will add a bonus in stress reduction, Ackrill said.

“Plan to do something today with friends, and a bonus if it’s outside — pick something that feeds your mind, body, spirit, no matter what the election outcome,” she said.

Other recommended stress reduction tips include practicing gratitude and eliminating stressful news and social feeds. Do a circle of control exercise in which you list what is in your control, what you can influence and what is not in your control — and then don’t worry about what you can’t affect, Ackrill said.

“Everyone needs regular practices to notice when stress is taking hold and a (tool belt) of ways to deal with it. This includes habits of awareness, healthy ways to frame the challenges of life, tools to downshift the mental and physical effects, and ways to stay focused on how to thrive,” she said.

“Sadly, most of us were not taught these, so take this election stress as a challenge to face the next election with some healthy stress regulation practices.”

Don’t stuff your emotions

Emotions are like data, Ackrill said in an earlier interview, necessary for telling you that you have needs that still need to be met.

“Denial or stuffing your feelings does not work,” she said. “Make space for processing some real feelings: grief, disappointment, frustration, anger or guilt.

“Allow yourself to have a full quilt of emotions that makes you human,” Ackrill added. “Don’t ‘should’ on yourself. There is no particular way you should feel and rewriting the story as somehow your fault does not help. Whatever you are feeling is real for you.”

One way to process your feelings, experts say, is to write them out until the emotion feels captured on paper —you’ll know when that happens if you feel the emotional charge lessen.

You can also reach out to a friend or loved one “you trust to hold you safely,” Ackrill suggested. But choose carefully. Before sharing fully, she said, ask yourself: “Is this person truly helping you cope with the emotional load?”

Be sure to reach out to a therapist for help if you feel like you can’t get “unstuck from your feelings” or the discomfort is getting hard to bear, she said. “Contrary to what our culture may have taught you, help is not a bad four letter word.”

We are all people

Finding common ground with others is critical to our mental health during times of stress, Ackrill said.

“Because the election hype has been so divisive, it can strain our relationships, especially with those who don’t share our viewpoints,” she said. “Quite often we share more cares, fears, values than we differ. Finding common ground can build that critical stress antidote — connection.”

Psychologist Tania Israel, a professor of counseling psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara, agrees.

“Media and our minds collude to misperceive people who disagree with us to be extreme, illogical, and hateful. In reality, we have far more in common than we realize,” Israel said in an email.

“Americans share core values, such as service, patriotism, and bipartisanship. We agree on government accountability and representation, as well as protecting Constitutional liberties and fair application of laws,” said Israel, author of the book “Facing the Fracture: How to Navigate the Challenges of Living in a Divided Nation.”

“Furthermore, we all desire free and fair elections, support equal rights, and do not want government officials to abuse their power.”

Israel pointed to organizations devoted to bringing opposite sides of the political divide together in what is known as the “bridging movement.”

“The priority is to walk away from that interaction caring more about that other person than about whether or not you won that argument — be human first,” Caroline Hopper, managing director of the Citizenship & American Identity Program at The Aspen Institute, told CNN in an prior interview.

The Aspen Institute sponsors The Better Arguments Project, which strives to create more productive arguments. These conversations don’t have to drive people apart, the group says. In fact, by learning to argue “better,” we can come together, it says.

“We are simply not getting the information that we need to make informed decisions if we are only engaging with people who agree with us,” Hopper said. “By sharing different ideas and points of view, we often emerge with deeper insights and stronger solutions to the problems that affect us all.”

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