Sugar Daddies: Another Dating Option
New studies show that one in five couples meet online through sites like Facebook, eharmony, match.com, and others. However, a new form of internet dating is turning the online search for love upside-down. Seekingarrangement.com helps connect men with financial means, commonly known as “sugar daddies” to younger women or “sugar babies.” Founder Brandon Wade explains the site’s foundation, ?A new form of pragmatic dating where guys who have means and sugar babies which could be guys or girls who want to offer up the companionship can come together. It?s a place where people can form mutually beneficial relationships. I mean complete honesty about what you?re looking for and what you can offer and what you expect.?
Wade, an MIT graduate started the site because he found himself succeeding in the business world, but consequently failing in the relationship department and he wasn’t the only one. ?I realized that a lot of guys like me, who are pretty successful, who have a good income, a bright future, have really the same issues,” said Wade. “What if I could have a website where I could really tout those accolades or those attributes that I do have.?
Seekingarrangments.com was born. Sugar daddies pay a monthly subscription fee, create a profile listing their annual income, what they’re willing to spend a month, and what they’re seeking, then they are able to browse and connect with the more than 400 thousand sugar babies online.
British journalist Helen Croydon entered the site from the sugar baby side, and recently wrote a book called “The Sugar Daddy Diaries” sharing her experiences. ?It?s a great logical concept really, because I think men, a lot of ambitious men are too busy to emotionally invest in a relationship, so I think they see a financial reward as a good substitute for that,” explains Croydon. “Many women myself included aren?t looking for a long term committed relationship with a view to marriage. That?s a really acceptable model.?
A recent study by George Washington University shows that many people are starting to share her opinion in a time of economic recession. These “sugar relationships” are not only becoming more accepted but are growing in popularity. Contrary to popular belief, Croydon explains, that these relationships cannot be all about money. “From a woman?s perspective, you have to do it because you are genuinely intrigued by an older man and his take on the world and that was definitely my motivation when I did it and I think that?s why I got so much enjoyment out of it,” said Croydon.
The website is also helping to break common misconceptions about what a sugar daddy is. ?I think people tend to have an impression that sugar daddies are like Hugh Hefner, you have to be ultra rich or perhaps really old,” said Wade. “Neither are true, in fact most of the sugar daddies on our site range between the mid-twenties and thirties.”
However, a dark side does exist to this website. Nearly half the men with subscriptions are married. ?A lot of the married guys on the site do it discreetly, but at the same time being really honest with themselves, understand that their marriage is something that is sacred and cannot be touched, but at the same time they do have certain needs that they need to find and meet somehow,” said Wade. “So seeking arrangement offers that and we make no moral judgments about that.?
One of these married men, under alias David Montrose wrote a book called “Sugar Daddy Diary” explaining the dynamic for married men. ?This is a very discreet arrangement, and it?s a deal breaker, not being discreet,” said Montrose. “Of course morally, you really can?t justify it. It really depends on each individual?s moral choices. Personally, I was separated during the time I was a sugar daddy, we?re not separated anymore, so I?m not living that lifestyle.?
Helen Croydon also justifies it from the sugar baby perspective. ?I don?t think they consider themselves to be adulterers, because they don?t fall in love with their so called sugar babes, they see them as an ancillary to their usual life, ” said Croydon. “It?s something extra that they want and can afford to have, so they feel that they are entitled to it.?
Another criticism of the website is that it’s a form of prostitution. Wade argues that it is not. ?In a sugar daddy, sugar baby relationship there are emotions involved, people do get to know each other, and there is a relationship involved. Where as in the case of an escort, an escort has to serve the client no matter how she feels about him. There?s a big difference between prostitution and a sugar relationship.?
Even though these relationships might not be for everyone, Wade does hope the basic traits of a sugar daddy can spread to the common man. ?We want to take the sugar daddy from what used to be this rich, wealthy guy down to the ordinary guy, I think we need to take the best of what sugar daddy principles are. For example, being a gentleman, always opening the door for a woman, always paying for the date, we want to take those attributes and traits down to everyone.?
