“Breast Shaming:” A valley woman got caught up in the debate over feeding her child in public

Sheena Meza didn’t intend to breastfeed her newborn daughter, Reign, when she ran into a neighborhood Walmart in April.

“She started to cry because she was hungry,” Meza said. “I pulled the tank top down and then, I just popped her on, and the other tank top was just loosely hanging.”

That’s when an employee approached her to say people were complaining.

“She then told me that if I didn’t cover up I was going to have to leave. Then she said, ‘Well, everyone’s looking at you.’ I was nervous, I was shaking, I just tried to finish shopping. I was embarrassed, and I felt she shamed me. She made me feel guilty, like I was doing something wrong” Meza said.

That kind of humiliation is why breast-shaming often goes unreported, but the non-profit “Best for Babes Foundation” says from 2012- 2016 roughly 500 calls were made to its nursing harassment hotline from women “who experienced discrimination at work, as well as bullying from retailers and the general public.”

“We did hear of one not too long ago,” reports Susana Berumen, Regional Breastfeeding Liaison for Riverside County. “(The woman) was told told at the (Palm Desert) mall, she could not breastfeed on a bench.”

Berumen and Kayellen Young work as breastfeeding coordinators for Riverside County with the goal of educating businesses, employers and mothers about their obligations and their rights.

“There’s an assembly bill law, and there’s also a civil code, so moms are protected,” says Young.

“The assembly bill basically states that notwithstanding any provision of the law, a mother may breastfeed her child in any location, public or private, where a mom’s allowed to be, except in somebody’s private home,” explains Young.

The author of the bill, ironically, has never breastfed a baby.

“Women legislators actually brought the breastfeeding bill to me,” says Antonio Villaraigosa, who is now a gubernatorial candidate, but who was a state assemblymember in 1997, when the Right to Breastfeeding Act was passed.

“They said they wanted a male to carry the breastfeeding bill,” explains Villaraigosa. “I said, I didn’t run on that… as I began to investigate it, it became crystal clear this was just a basic issue of civil rights.”

But many find the issue of public breastfeeding a complex one, speaking out on Facebook and social media.

Shoppers also expressed their opinions outside of the Walmart where Meza’s incident took place.

“It’s a normal, human thing,” said Jocelyn Mendez of Indio.

“I think they should be allowed to feed their child,” echoed Freda Addeo, also of Indio.

While Don Dunkle said he believe women should be allowed to publicly breastfeed, he added, they should cover up because it’s “Less humiliating. Actually I think it’s kind of embarrassing for the males.”

He explained his personal experience. “I didn’t know (the mother) was breastfeeding , and I give a coochie coochie coo to the baby, and I was so embarrassed.”

An informal Facebook poll with nearly 300 votes, showed 37% of those who responded said women should cover up.

“I do think there’s a bit of a generational issue too,” says Tara Petrilla, mother to newborn daughter Kaia. Petrilla and others meet weekly at Jadabugs Kids Boutique for breastfeeding help and support.

“And if they’re uncomfortable they can leave or not look, that’s how I feel,” says mother of three, Aisha Hendrick of Indio.

Although some said they were more discrete than others, they all agreed, it was a personal choice.

Meza says the Walmart store manager told her by breastfeeding openly, she was violating the store’s dress policy, then, “she called me back,” explains Meza. “She told me I was right, she was wrong, and she wanted to offer me two free chickens in exchange for everything that I had went through.

Walmart declined an on camera interview, but Tara Aston, Senior Manager, National Media Relations for Walmart Corporate Communications issued a statement:

“We welcome nursing mothers to breastfeed in our stores. We have apologized to the customer for her experience, and appreciate her for bringing this matter to our attention.”

Meza says that is not enough, and hopes other businesses take notice.

“It’s pretty traumatizing and I wouldn’t want anyone else to have to go through it…I’m hoping this will actually give women more strength to breastfeed. Knowing that I stood up, and I fought back.”

Resources to help Nursing Mothers

Riverside County offers a free, 24/7 breastfeeding hotline in conjunction with First 5 Riverside with resources to help nursing mothers. The number is 951-358-7212.